getting things in order

I'm getting all our important documents in order and trying to figure out how to burn all these damn pictures I have on the computer... screw it I'll just have Ben do it when he gets home. I want everything of importance in one place in case of an emergency we can just grab the container and go, also so Ben knows where everything is and how to handle everything in the case of my untimely death. I don't really want to celebrate Christmas. I love Christmas, usually. I don't want to fly out and see my family. 4 preggos (me, SIL and two cousins) 2 due after me and I'm gonna be the only one who isn't obviously pregnant. Like these people don't know I'm fat, I've known them forever... I just felt so good last time I saw everyone, when I was down close to 50 pounds and everyone told me how great I looked, now I just look hugely fat again. It's amazing how a person can let themselves get this way. I know what I'm gaining is baby and that baby is pushing the fat I have up and out, I'm not so much upset that I'm gaining weight, I'm just completely and utterly disgusted by myself.